EASY WAYS TO BRING MORE
Security to Your Relationship
Easy Ways to Bring More Security to Your Relationship
If your relationship sometimes feels like you’re riding a rollercoaster, there are
simple ways to feel more secure as a couple. These are techniques you can use by
yourself and with your partner to keep you both on a more even course.
Steps You Can Take by Yourself
1.Build up your self esteem.
Start out by feeling secure about yourself. Take
satisfaction in your own accomplishments. Pursue meaningful goals. Talk to
yourself in a way that is kind and motivating.
2. Acknowledge your feelings.
If you’re together long enough, you’re bound to
have conflicted emotions about your partner occasionally. Accept your doubts,
fears and irritations so you can process them rationally.
3.Manage stress.
A healthy lifestyle will keep you more resilient.
Get plenty of good quality sleep.
Eat right and exercise regularly.
Use alcohol in moderation.
Find relaxation methods, like meditation or massage, that work well for you.
4. Solve your own challenges.
It’s nice to have a partner to commiserate with, but
stay on top of your own responsibilities.
Learn to do the laundry or make easy home repairs instead of always
depending on your spouse to do the job.
5. Try new things. Expand your comfort zone. Take dance lessons or volunteer in
the emergency room at a local hospital. You may develop a new sense of
assurance and become even more fascinating.
6.Maintain your family ties and friendships.
Healthy couples rely on a broad
base of support. Spend time with your family and friends. Get to know your
neighbors.
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Steps You Can Take With Your Partner
1.Communicate effectively. Communication skills are fundamental to any stable
relationship. Talk to each other openly and with respect. Pick neutral times for
tackling sensitive subjects.
Listen attentively and give your partner your full attention instead of
focusing on what you want to say next.
2.Provide mutual support.
Celebrate your interdependence. Share household
chores and parenting responsibilities. Offer your spouse a quiet afternoon at
home while you take the kids out shopping for school shoes.
3.Resolve conflicts peacefully.
Expect to disagree at times. Try to see each
other’s position and look for ways to compromise. Stay calm and be willing to
I apologize.
The best solutions make you both feel like winners.
4. Accommodate each other.
Be flexible when there is no risk to your wellbeing
or core values. Take turns visiting each other’s family on the holidays.
Volunteer for extra errands when you know your partner has a tight deadline at
work.
5. Stick to your household budget. Financial pressures can cause divisions. Put
your household budget in writing. Monitor how you spend, save and invest your
money. Plan major purchases in advance.
6.Create your own traditions.
Personal traditions give us a sense of belonging and
safety.
Make family dinners a priority.
If you both enjoy the theater, buy annual subscriptions to a local theater
company.
7. Stay close.
Flirt with each other. Hold hands when you go out to the movies.
Read interesting news stories aloud over breakfast. Put out a vase of fresh
flowers in your bedroom.
8.Consider classes and counseling. Being willing to accept expert assistance is a
sign of strength. Couples classes can help you learn communication skills and
new ways of interacting. Counseling can help you break through issues that are
difficult for you to resolve on your own.
Work at making your relationship run more smoothly. Building up yourself
confidence and treating your partner with respect will help you to feel more secure
with yourself and each other.