14 POSITIVE ALTERNATIVES
to Nagging
14 Positive Alternatives to Nagging
Nagging is ineffective and puts a strain on your relationships. Instead, try some of
these ways to get what you want. Some are so easy you can start doing them
immediately while you work your way up to the more advanced strategies.
Simple Alternatives to Nagging
1. Do the math.
If you still need to convince yourself that nagging fails to get
results, try counting how many times you say the same thing. The tenth time is
likely to turn out the same as the first nine attempts. You have everything to gain
by trying a new approach.
2. Focus on the positive.
Keep your eye on the big picture. When you think about
how your family, friends and colleagues enrich your life, it’s easier to cut them
some slack on the less pleasant details of your interactions.
3. Do it yourself.
It may be faster and more satisfying to complete a task yourself
rather than waiting for someone else to do it. Learn to replace the air filter in your
car. Sweep the stairs or wash the dishes even when your spouse was going to do
those jobs this week.
4.Become more flexible.
Let your kids know that you appreciate their willingness
to help out even if their methods are different from your own. Smoothing out
the bedspread makes the room look tidier even if you have to give up on
hospital corners.
5. Let others experience the consequences of their actions.
Maybe your kids
surprise you with a science fair project due the next morning on the same
evening when you usually go grocery shopping. Eating tuna fish sandwiches for a week may help them understand the importance of giving you adequate
notice.
6. Engage outside help.
Consider paying professionals for chores that cause
ongoing conflicts. A weekly house cleaning service may be worth the
investment. Find another parent at your kid’s school who wants to take turns
driving them to soccer practice.
7. Streamline your workload.
Chronic irritability is often a sign that you’re trying to
do too much. Figure out which responsibilities are priorities and which you can
put aside.
8. Embrace technology.
Brief text messages and automated calendar reminders
deliver the same information with less risk of putting people on the defensive.
Remind your partner that you have a dinner party tonight without saying a
word.
9. Take time out.
Deal with sensitive subjects when you’re feeling calm and
collected. Sometimes the best thing you can do is take a walk until you settle
down.
More Advanced Alternatives to Nagging
1. Address the root issues.
Probe more deeply to see if nagging is a symptom of
deeper issues in your relationships. Marital counseling or parenting classes may
help you get to the bottom of what’s going on.
2. Ask for what you want directly.
Work up the courage to state what you need
clearly and tactfully. One skillful message beats years of beating around the bush.
3. Listen well.
Practice attentive listening. Concentrate on what the other person
is saying and confirming that you understand. It’s easier to cooperate with each
other when we feel validated and cared for.
4.Nurture your self esteem.
Some studies suggest that women are more prone to nagging because they feel like they have less power. Encourage yourself with
positive self talk and pursue meaningful goals. Feeling strong and secure makes
you are less vulnerable to finding faults in others.
If you’re tired of repeating the same requests without getting the results you desire,
It's time to try some alternatives to nagging. Change your expectations and improve
your communication skills. You may wind up with a happier family life and a cleaner
house.